Mirror Mirror – Who is the person in the mirror talking too?
What are you saying about that image of yourself reflecting back at you in the mirror. Are you playing nice and making friends with your reflection or are you beating it up with negative name bashing and insecurities.
Self-talk is your inner voice. The voice in your mind, in your head and the self-criticism that you don’t always say out loud.
So many times self-talk happens without you even realizing it, but remember, what you say in your mind can determine a lot of how you feel about who you are. Here’s the good news on positive self-talk. It’s the stuff that makes you feel well and have those warm happy feelings, that self-confidence about yourself and great things that are going on in your life. Let’s not forget the other , exact opposite is negative self talk. The negative self talk that makes you feel worthless, pathetic, low down, ugly, unattractive, ….I personally call them the demons!
As my friend Danielle refers to her negative self talk as the Interrogaters because she feels interrogated by
all the terrible words of bombardment.
There is a positive and negative self-talk and they both have an impact on how you feel and on your health and motivation.
Self talk can have a really great impact on yourself if its positive.
There are a few ways you can develop better self talk including just listening to what you’re saying to yourself each day
Like having a cheerleader or having an optimistic very happy positive voice in your head that is always looking on the sunny side.
Examples of Positive Happy Self Talk
I look awesome today!
I’m going to score a perfect grade on my test.
I’m going to walk into that boardroom & I am going to win over my boss and my clients and get that account.
I know I will have an amazing day today because I deserve to. Today is going to be the best day of my life and I look like a Rockstar.
I am sexy and I know it!
On the other hand the negative self talk (the demons) will tell you things that makes you feel degraded, insecure, lower than low, crappy about yourself and things that are going on or rather going wrong in your world and to you.
It’s a draining downer and once you get into the cycle you better do anything you can to get out of it
before you hit rock bottom.
Examples of Negative Self Talk
My clothes never fit, I just keep gaining weight.
I don’t know why no one ever asks me out I must be unattractive. No wonder I am overlooked at work and by the opposite sex —
Look at those wrinkles, baggy puffy eyes, pimples, scars, stretch marks, age spots. Goodness gracious once you get the negativity going it is difficult to shut them up. But you can, one compliment to yourself at a time. Did you know negative self talk can even impact your recovery time from a illness?
**** Note to my readers. When I left the house looking what I thought was wow, perfect hair, perfect outfit, was not when AWESOME (I don’t understand where this line is going)
Totally Amazing things happened to me. Why you ask? In the big scheme of things it is not the perfection part that people notice and the reason they are attracted to you. It is the inner light, peace, and confidence that you carry within yourself.
I pride myself on never leaving the house without my hair combed, makeup, and looking put together. But there was a day a few months ago when circumstances dictated otherwise and I had to leave the house suddenly to pick up emergency supplies at Office Depot, fill my tank, grab a Starbuck’s and come back home to get on with my work day. No time to play dress up or with makeup.
With squirrely hair, no makeup only lipgloss, and a fashionista unapproved outfit (shorts and a junkie t-shirt, flip flops) I threw ego to the wind and was on a mission to do my tasks.
Shocker! At Office Depot people were drawn to me in line when I was waiting to pay for my copy paper and ink cartridge.
At first I was embarrassed on how I must have looked. I had ran in there hoping to be incognito. I was having such a great chat with girl at register and man behind me then the sales girl chimed in and added to our conversation too. One person even said how glad they were I spoke to them and made them laugh. The trend of attracting people to myself that morning continued even after I left Office Depot heading to the gas station, then to Starbucks. It had nothing to do with garments, labels (designers) that I could have chosen to wear that morning. I had chosen positive self-talk at the red light on my way there that morning and as I looked into my car mirror I said giggling, Alena, You may be a la natural this morning but Darling You Are Beautiful!” With a big smile I readjusted the car mirror and the light changed to green.
It was now time to Go.
Guess what? Obviously my beautiful inner light was shining so bright that no one noticed or even if they did they didn’t care about my uncombed bed head hair, my real self (no makeup). Just me being me “Real, Authentic, and knowing that no matter what my hair looks like or what I am in — I choose to tell myself everyday with my own self-talk that I am gorgeous, talented, valued, loved,…If I believe it others will too and they will treat me differently. (Remember Baby, Fake it tip you make it!
Even though I wear the title “Miss joy and happiness” very well, I too am human. We can’t stay happy 100% of the time but we can change what we’re saying about ourselves.
I’m even guilty of beating myself up some mornings when I look into the mirror. So guess what I’ve started to do when I wake up?
I Don’t go immediately and look into the mirror first thing in the morning if I am super exhausted or not in the right frame of mind.
Instead while I’m having my coffee or even when I’m walking from room to room to start my day, I start telling myself that I’m beautiful and that I love myself and that I am happy I am me. Then once I do find myself standing before the mirror even if I see puffy eyes or worse dark circles or squirrely hair instead of getting anxious and saying, “Oh No why today of all days do I look like this again?” I remain calm, cool, collected and positive.
I look deep into the mirror at the person staring back at me and tell her that she is beautiful and she is perfect today. Funny once my own self talk actually had a miraculous effect because despite what I actually saw in the mirror (the puffy eyes and dark circles) they seem to fade away hours later because I chose not to focus on them. Instead I placed my focus on my beauty. Inner that is!
Self-talk and self-image go hand in hand in my book. The more we love ourselves the more we value our bodies and what we eat, exercise, embrace our gifts, talents and our uniqueness the more the reflection staring back at us changes into a more brilliant beautiful human being.
Sure many of us have encountered mean terrible people that have shaped the things we say and feel about ourselves.
Perhaps you were in an abusive relationship or in your childhood you were called terrible things or had someone degrade you or perhaps people have bullied you at school or made fun of you. Whatever you have experienced in this realm of negativity and harmful arrows against your self-worth and self-esteem please know that I have been there to and I know how devastating those awful words were when I heard them.
Take a moment and ask yourself is there actual evidence and proof that “I am” what these people have called me or thought of me or was it just a stab to our hearts and ego where that other person or people could gain control and make us feel insecure which sadly in most cases is how these abusive people win and destroy all the goodness and self worth we have.
There is a more positive way you can look at this or ask yourself if you can do anything to change what you’re feeling bad about?
One of the favorite things that I was taught in my childhood was I CAN if I Think I Can! This was long before Louise Hayes Positive Affirmations and all the other authors promoting positivity. My parents read me the little engine that could from the age of 5 years old and would often reference the sweet little story even in my preteen years.
Despite me being bullied as an ugly little girl that was chubby and shy —tormented and taunted and always being chosen last to play on any team and pushed and worse overlooked. Despite the terrible words I often heard from classmate as a young girl I always remembered If I Think I Can then I CAN!
All the twists and turns in this life that I have experienced both good and bad and variety of both good and bad people I have propped myself up, picked myself back up with bruises bumps and tears in my eyes but guess what you can call me bad names, pick on me but I Can, I AM and I Will because I thought I could. Anything can be overcome if you want change.
“Never bend your head always hold it high look at the world straight in the face.” Helen Keller
You don’t have to be a preteen or 20- something year old to be affected by the constant bombardment of perceived physical perfection that profoundly affects almost everyone at some time or another. Most people’s self perception is warped and whacked and I am here wanting to change that.
Stand up straight
Put a smile on that face 🙂 and walk out that door knowing
Everyone needs and desires compliments so before you jump into the car today let me
be the first to compliment YOU.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
YOU ARE AWESOME!
YOU ARE TALENTED, VALUED< AND GIFTED!
If You Would Like Divine Direction to Become You Best Authentic Self
I would LOVE to help.
Please contact me for Transformational Life Coaching